TORONTO – After waking up with mild flu-like symptoms a month ago, Peter Miller went to stand in line outside of Toronto Western Hospital to get tested for COVID. As of this morning, he happily a…
Tag: flu
Doctors recommend that you cover your mouth when you cough you disgusting piece of shit
Hamilton, ON – After a decades long study, doctors at McMaster University’s Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine have found that to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses you sh…
Mike Pence introduces program to cure coronavirus carriers with conversion therapy
WASHINGTON D.C. – In his first hours leading the U.S. response to the COVID-19 pandemic, Mike Pence announced a bold program of conversion therapy to convince infected Americans they don’t …
Mum just calling to check you don’t have coronavirus
Oakville, ON — While she’s sure you’d be in touch if anything was wrong, your mum just called to check you don’t have coronavirus. “I’ve heard it’s been going around and I wanted to be sure,” she…
Man worried about coronavirus still hasn’t gotten flu shot
TORONTO – Seth Radcliffe, who has not had a flu vaccine in the last five years, wants to know exactly what the governments of the world and the UN are doing to protect him from the new coro…
Man who just open mouthed sneezed into your ear is pretty sure it’s just allergies
JASPER, AB — On her usual morning commute, Ainsley Stephens, 26, has been informed that the strange man who sneezed into her ear without covering his mouth “has allergies, not a cold,…
Hottest Spring Trend: Getting sick right before you have an event you can’t get out of
NEW YORK – This just in, spring’s hottest trend has nothing to do with bomber jackets or skinny jeans and everything to do with your immune system. Famous trend forecaster Jil Whitman has o…