As Israel continues to bombard Gaza, causing the deaths of thousands of civilians, you may be wondering how to properly protest without causing a huge scene or bothering people just trying to enj…
World
Everything Israel is doing to minimize civilian casualties in Gaza
As Israel continues its bombing campaign in Gaza in an effort to destroy Hamas, they are taking a number of steps to minimize civilian casualties. Here they are: 1. Tell the media they are doing …
Canada calls for 5 minute water break in Israel bombing campaign
OTTAWA – Continuing our country’s long standing role as a global leader in humanitarian causes, the government of Canada has stepped forward and announced its support for a 5 minute w…
Free speech champions explain why it’s OK that people are being cancelled for criticizing Israel
As academics, celebrities and politicians face backlash and loss of work for condemning Israel’s bombing of the Gaza strip and treatment of Palestinians in general, we asked a number of peo…
Biden suggests Hamas and Israeli government hash things out over a plate of ribs
TEL AVIV – During an overseas visit aimed at quelling recent violence between the State of Israel and Hamas, President Joe Biden has suggested bringing the two sides together over a meal of…
Genocide enthusiast jazzed to see so many people embrace his hobby
CALGARY – Local accountant and mass murder aficionado Larry Jones is tickled pink to witness the recent surge in media and political support for his favourite crime against humanity. “Norma…
Spineless fence-sitter thinks killing children is bad no matter who does it
MONTREAL – Local man Morgan Powell has been accused of both “ignoring the plight of Palestinians” and “hating the only democracy in the Middle East” for his controve…
India issues advisory warning travellers against assassinating people in Canada
NEW DELHI – India has warned its citizens to exercise the “utmost caution” when attempting to covertly assassinate people in Canada. In a statement issued on its website, India’s Ministry o…
Report: Mom not too keen on Charles
CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI – After many months of public uncertainty, sources have confirmed that Mom really could do with a lot less of Charles today, you know? “It’s been long-established that Mo…
United Kingdom considered powerful nation despite needing 3 days to put hat on old man
LONDON – With King Charles Coronation taking up nearly the entire weekend, many are asking, “if the UK is considered a powerful country, why do they need three whole days to put this hat on…