TORONTO – After a chain-link fence was spotted under construction outside their headquarters, The Globe and Mail issued a statement clarifying that the fence was merely the latest tactic th…
National
TransCanada reaches out to teens with new Keystone bitumen halfpipe line
ALBERTA – In an attempt to win over the youthful protest groups throughout Canada and the USA, today the TransCanada Corporation announced a new massive halfpipe line and accompanying skate…
Climate change denier drowns in flash flood
DELORAINE, MB – After a sudden torrential downpour that has inundated his community, a local climate change denier has been swept away by rushing waters and is presumed drowned. “It&#…
God makes surprise appearance at World Pride parade
TORONTO – As the World Pride parade drew to a close on Sunday, crowds received a special treat when the Creator of the Universe unexpectedly arrived on a specially designed float. “Wh…
Feds approve controversial maple syrup pipeline
OTTAWA – Despite drawing criticism for considerable construction costs and possible environmental damage, the Government has given the go ahead to a pipeline linking maple syrup producing r…
Feds still deciding if Sea King replacement helicopter will include rotors
OTTAWA – Defence officials are still deciding if the helicopter selected to replace the aging Sea King will include the helicopter’s only source of lift. “The CH-148 Cyclone has been chosen…
Lady expert Peter MacKay explains how menstrual cycle affects judicial decisions
At a recent Ontario Bar Association Event, Justice Minister and renowned expert on women Peter MacKay explained the dangers of having a female judge make a ruling during her period. “I feel like …
Harper promises to consult Native, environment groups on pipeline after first oil spill
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has pledged that he will consult all First Nations and environmental groups about the controversial Northern Gateway pipeline the moment after the fir…
Newfoundland to name first person that sobers up the province’s next premier
ST. JOHN’S – With no candidates stepping forward to replace recently resigned premier-designate Jack Coleman, the province of Newfoundland announced today that it will name the first citizen that…
School kids, MPs really excited for summer vacation
OTTAWA – As summer vacation approaches fast, the two groups of people who get the entire time off, young children and members of parliament, are both very excited for it to begin. “I can’t …
