OTTAWA – Seeking to strengthen democratic institutions, Prime Minister Stephen Harper used this week’s speech from the throne to announce the legislative agenda of all future governments. “…
Throne Speech: 8 things Canadians can expect
OTTAWA – The Harper government will resume parliament with a Speech from the Throne today. Here are what Canadians can expect: 1. Reduced roaming charges for robo-calls made from cell phone…
Montreal construction industry eagerly awaits election of next employee
MONTREAL – Municipal election season is hiring season for construction firms in Montreal, coincidentally. “It’s been a rough summer for us,” said SNC Lavalin CEO Robert G Card. “A lot of ou…
Rick Springfield arrested for stalking Jessie’s Girl
LOS ANGELES — Rick Springfield was arrested this week for violating the terms of a restraining order against the woman known only as ‘Jessie’s Girl.’ Few knew the 1980s ro…
Canadians pretending to have read Alice Munro in massive numbers
OTTAWA — With the news that Alice Munro has won the Nobel Prize for literature, Canadians from coast to coast are now pretending to have read her collected works in record figures. ‘The Vie…
The Tea Party won’t back down until someone tells them what they are fighting for
WASHINGTON – Members of the Tea Party Caucus have informed Americans that they will not vote to end the government shut down until it is made absolutely clear to them what exactly they are being …
Ben Mulroney cast in Justin Trudeau biopic
Producers for the upcoming Justin Trudeau biopic “Justin: our hero, our saviour, our next prime minister” have revealed that Ben Mulroney will be taking on the titular role. At a press conference…
Nova Scotia elects premier most Canadians will never hear about again
HALIFAX – Nova Scotians headed to the polls to elect a person that will never be heard from again by anyone outside of the province. The vast, uninterested masses of Canadians, will go back…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Parliament more productive when prorogued
OTTAWA – MPs who were worried that the prorogation of Parliament would send Canadian democracy grinding to a halt can’t believe how much they’re getting done. “Freed from Question Period,” Libera…
As Breaking Bad ends, office coffee machine prepares for life of loneliness
MONTREAL – The coffee machine at Boundless Publishing where, for the better part of six years, everyone stood around discussing Breaking Bad, is prepared for a solitary post-Walter White ex…
