OTTAWA – Canada is in the midst of a severe productivity crisis, warns a report from Canada’s federal government, who also does jack shit. “This is an issue that cannot be ignored,” said a …
Toronto Police advise banks to leave big pile of money at the door to avoid being robbed
TORONTO – In response to a growing rash of armed robberies throughout the city, Toronto Police advised Canada’s banks to leave a big pile of money at the door of every branch to avoid being…
The 9 people that own all of Toronto’s real estate extremely upset about property tax hike
TORONTO – Reacting to news of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s plan to hike property taxes by more than 10%, the 9 or so people that collectively own all Toronto real estate expressed outrage, s…
EDITORIAL: Without more funding, how can CBC support original Canadian executive bonuses?
By CBC President Catherine Tait As the CBC is faced with yet another round of unfair budget cuts resulting in the unavoidable layoffs of more than 600 employees, it is clear what is at risk: CBC …
CRTC to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podcast is
OTTAWA – Hot on the heels of Bill C-18’s regulation of news on social media platforms, the CRTC announced a follow-up plan to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podca…
Liberals support gender affirming surgery provided trans people can find a doctor
OTTAWA – After the Conservative Party Convention passed resolutions seeking to limit transgender healthcare, the Liberal Party proudly restated their support for gender affirming surgery so…
To combat self-checkout theft, stores experimenting with new human cashier pilot program
OAKVILLE, ON – Following a rise in self-checkout theft driven by increased prices, a consortium of Canadian retailers announced a new experimental pilot program replacing self-checkouts wit…
“I’m glad inflation is finally under control,” says man on verge of losing house
MISSISSAUGA – In response to recent reports from the Bank of Canada, Canadians across the country are celebrating that inflation is finally under control, amongst them local man Bryan Fergu…
Loblaws raises price of bread to exact amount of federal grocery rebate
BRAMPTON – In an effort to help Canadians struggling with inflation, Loblaws announced that they will be permanently pegging the price of bread to the exact amount of money a single adult i…
CABINET SHUFFLE: Liberal ministers admit they didn’t know they were supposed to read memos
OTTAWA – An upcoming Federal cabinet shuffle has been announced in response to several ministers claiming to have missed key information contained in official government memos addressed dir…
