OTTAWA — Pierre Poilievre’s inner circle is at loggerheads over when to release his diss track targeting Prime Minister Mark Carney.
Titled “Miss the Mark,” Poilievre said that the track, while pointed, is never profane. “Don’t worry, parents. There’s no inappropriate language, like the F-word, or ain’t.”
Poilievre’s team is considering two release times for the musical rebuke: within the next week, or holding off until the Holidays, potentially ruining Carney’s Christmas. A third faction is arguing to release the track, “never never never please God never.”
A party insider said Poilievre’s tune is musically inspired by famous diss tracks like Kendrick Lamar’s They Not Like Us and 2Pac’s Hit ‘Em Up, “but it goes harder than all five Taylor Swift songs about Jake Gyllenhaal combined.”
The track calls out the Prime Minister on a number of economic matters. “Your speech at Davos, it made a good impression / But you followed that up with a technical recession.” Poiliievre continues with, “Your subsidies and handouts never relent/ Now our deficit-to-GDP is just 2 percent.” But Poilievre’s most savage attacks call out Carney for being a marathon runner: “While you’re on the run, I do another set of curls, /Didn’t you get the memo? Cardio’s for girls.”
The Opposition Leader, who goes by the stage name Lil’ PP, said he’s proud of the track. “Bragging isn’t considered unseemly in the rap community, so I’ll say I’ve really got bars—which are what Mr. Carney should be behind after all he’s done.”
When asked if he was concerned the rap community may not welcome his sudden foray into the genre, Poilievre scoffed. “I read about diss tracks for several hours on Wikipedia. I assure you, I have enormous respect for this music, if it even counts as that.”
Poilievre said the track will be released as soon as his team reaches a decision, and once he’s found something to rhyme with ‘mortgage delinquencies.’
