You have probably seen your right wing family and friends post a lot about ostriches lately. And, since you don’t follow Rebel News and a lot of twitter accounts with fucktrudeau and fringeminorty in their username, you might not know why. So we’re to help answer all your questions with the speed and grace of a not-dead ostrich running to freedom.
1. Wait, What the fuck is going on?
An ostrich farm in BC had an avian flu outbreak and didn’t follow protocol to quarantine the infected birds from the other ostriches or nearby animals. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) ordered and, after appeals were denied, carried out a culling of the herd to prevent the flu from spreading.
2. Ok, and that’s it?
Legally, yes.
3. Seems like you’re leaving something unsaid.
Ok, well if you want to get technical, the story has taken off like wildfire amongst anti-government and anti-vaxxers both here and in the States. RFK Jr and Dr. Oz have weighed in, thousands of people watched a live feed of the farm for days leading up to the culling, the farm has received hundreds of thousands in donations and many threats have been made against CFIA officials and employees. Online it has been compared to events like The Holocaust, Japanese Internment camps and, worst of all, that time the government strongly encouraged us to get a vaccine in the middle of a global pandemic.
4. Jesus Christ. Why, given all the terrible things happening in the world, do people care about this?
Micro-analysis: They see it as an example of government overreach and bureaucratic cruelty towards an independent farm. Macro-analysis: The world is getting dumber every day.
5. What does this have to do with vaccines though?
The farmers and their supporters believe the ostriches had herd immunity, and their blood could be used to cure the avian flu and, somehow, covid, thus ending the need for vaccines. But thanks to Big Pharma and their pet, the government, we’ll never get to try Old Man Mcgillicutty’s Miracle Elixir (Now With Real Ostrich Blood).
5. What is the worst thing protestors did against CFIA?
Hard to choose between the name calling, the threats, the doxxing, review-bombing any business that worked with them and the smearing literal shit on their office building. But worst of all was probably making them listen to the musicians they booked for the Ostrich Fest music festival, a THREE DAY music festival (and baptism opportunity) the farm put on, which we swear to god was 100% a real thing and not something we just made up right now.
6. Couldn’t CFIA have just tested all the ostriches to see if they have Avian Flu.
Possibly. CFIA said they couldn’t be confident in the results because the farm owners refused to follow infection guidelines and would not allow full access to the herd. Plus the testing is not always accurate. But maybe they were blinded by their pure ostrich bloodlust.
7. You said American right-wingers view this as a key battle against government overreach. But isn’t the U.S. government currently rounding people up and shipping them off to prisons in countries they don’t even come from?
Yes, but in fairness if those immigrants were as fast as ostriches, ICE would never have been able to get them.
7. Should the Ostriches have been killed?
For being exposed to the Avian flu? Maybe. For basically being less cool dinosaurs, definitely.
8. The Ostrich Farm supporters seem really angry. Are you worried they’re going to come after you for writing this article making fun of the situation?
Shit.
9. This seems like a really crappy situation for everyone involved. At least there’s no way Ezra Levant managed to get rich off this right?
I have some terrible news.
