VANCOUVER – Rising COVID-19 case numbers across the country have led to an increased risk of killing the vibe at an otherwise pretty lit house party, according to several partying sources.
“Ughhhhh, it keeps coming up when I’m trying to talk to girls,” said Cooper Brady. “It’s hard enough to have a conversation with all these people here. At least the weirdos wearing masks mostly have the courtesy to pull them down so you can hear them better.”
Mark Jeffries, one of the hosts of the superspreader event, was trying to stay focused on showing people a good time despite the second wave and his own obvious symptoms.
“I’ve just got a bit of a cold, but I took some Advil earlier so it’s all good,” said Jeffries while sweating a bit more than could be explained by the ecstasy he’d also taken. “I wasn’t about to cancel this thing because of a little headache and some gut wrenching diarrhea.”
The vibe was maintained at a fairly steady rate through the early evening beer pong games, but some partygoers still expressed concerns, possibly remembering the untimely death of the vibe at Mel and Pete’s apartment flip cup tournament when Oscar announced his dad was in the ICU.
“Obviously we’re all hoping this virus goes away soon, that’s why I’m wearing this dumb mask,” said Kayleigh Lundell while pulling down said mask to share a vape pen with four strangers. “It takes something like this pandemic for you to really appreciate how fragile the vibe is. It’s awesome to see so many people come together to keep the vibe alive.”
At least one partygoer did seem like his vibe had been pretty harshed despite the frivolity around him. “No no, I just need to keep it a little under the radar tonight,” he said, while refusing to give his name. “The fam’s doing a birthday brunch for my grandma later this week, so I’ve just been taking a few hits off Tony’s bong and chilling. Brunch vibes have been pretty much wiped out by this thing, so it’ll be great to sit very close to my family and laugh and share food.”
At press time several doses of extra-loud WAP had been applied to the party, guaranteeing a robust vibe response and ensuring the vibe would be strong enough to spread to coworkers, friends, and the wider public several days later.