VANCOUVER – Epidemiologists at BCCDC are warning the public that the second wave of fuckwittery will be worse than the first.
“We’re expecting many more cases of reckless dumbassery throughout the months of September until January which also coincides with regular dipshit season during Christmas shopping,” said Wendy Furlough, an epidemiologist. “We encourage everyone to hunker down and avoid close contact with dullards to prevent the spread of bullshit.”
Experts say putzes vandalizing cars with US license plates, pea-brained university students hosting parties, and self-centred assholes participating in anti-mask rallies are a clear indication that the next wave of fuckwits have arrived.
“Based on our current projections, the incidence rate of fuckwittery next month will be three times higher than six months ago,” said Furlough pointing to the highest point of the stooge curve. “That’s over 500,000 active doofuses at any given time.”
Equally concerning is the mutation of several brainless windbags who have gained a complete immunity to common sense.
According to sources, several dunces in the grocery store were doing their part by wearing masks below their noses so they can smell out the coronavirus.