OTTAWA – In spite of recommendations restricting large gatherings of people to slow the spread of COVID-19, Health Canada has given the go-ahead to the upcoming furry convention Furtive Glances due to the head-to-toe protective covering worn by attendees.
“It is essential right now that Canadians stay home and practice social distancing,” stated Minister of Health Patty Hajdu. “Unless those Canadians are wearing anthropomorphic fursuits covering their body, face and hands, in which case go nuts I guess.”
Not all members of the furry community welcomed this news. Longtime member of the fandom Susanna Corle believes that “this is just another way that the government’s response to this crisis favours the wealthy. A full-body fursuit can cost thousands of dollars, so not everybody who goes to cons can afford them. Does the federal government even understand this subculture?”
Justin Trudeau promptly apologized to everyone in the fandom with a tweet delivered by his fursona, a raven-haired lynx named Snow. He also promised an emergency tax credit to assist anyone in need of financial assistance to complete their fursuit during this unprecedented global pandemic.
As of press time, organizers of Furtive Glances have said that even with Health Canada’s blessing, they may still postpone their convention, stating that “as a community, we’re pretty good at just staying home and being on the internet.”