EDMONTON – In the wake of the last week’s fire, Fort McMurray Emergency Measures Organization and the Red Cross are asking Canadians to refrain from donating Adam Sandler’s 2011 film “Jack and Jill”.
“We truly do appreciate the generosity that Canadians from across the country have shown,” explained EMO spokesperson Kim Fenton. “However, what we need here is food, clothing, and of course monetary donations. We do not need more another warehouse full of this awful film. We don’t want to encourage victims of this fire to return to the charred ashes of their livelihoods instead of watching a washed-up comedian playing two unfunny versions of himself while inserting not-so-subtle product placements.”
The warning didn’t stop many misguided Canadians from donating some of Adam Sandler’s worst movies, some of which are banned in several countries.
“Some unfortunate person who lost everything will certainly enjoy “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”, and I haven’t opened it up yet!” exclaimed Denis Frumm of Oshawa, Ontario. “I’ll just re-gift this present from my Grandma who thinks Adam Sandler is still funny.”
In addition to the request, those providing relief are refusing to accept any more donations of “Baby Geniuses”, “Battlefield Earth” and Bill Cosby’s book “Love and Marriage”.