NORTH BAY, ON — In what is being called a rebellious act of defiance of society’s rules, 17-year-old Sarah Elea has gone to sleep without wearing her orthodontic retainer.
The incident occurred last night in the teenager’s bedroom at approximately 11 PM after Elea completed her calculus homework and brushed her teeth. However, as she slid under the covers, the agitator and likely future anarchist failed to reach for her green plastic container holding her dental device.
Elea’s parents said they were shocked to discover her nihilist behaviour and didn’t know where they went wrong raising an otherwise university bound, dentally responsible daughter.
“I never thought something like this would happen to my child,“ said a sobbing mother, Brenda. “First she’s not wearing her retainer, next she won’t be flossing and, before I know it, she’s dealing crack cocaine to Bikers topless.”
Experts have speculated the teenager’s descent into complete madness is associated with her friends from second period English while Noam Chomsky claims the teenager was participating in an active struggle against the Dental Industrial Complex.
According to sources, Sarah’s parents have already sent their daughter to a six-week retainer rehab program where she will get the help she needs.
