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Montreal Biosphere sold to become oil sands interpretation centre

MONTREAL- Montreal’s famed Biosphere Museum has been sold by the federal government to the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers to make way for a new sands education centre.

Located on Montreal’s man-made St-Helen’s Island, the Canadian Oil Heritage Museum will have both indoor and outdoor displays of machinery.

“It is really hard to dig through untouched woods and marshlands, so the machines are really cool,” declared Arnold Tanguay, the Museum’s director.

One of the highlights of the new museum will be the introductory courses on political lobbying taught by actual lobbyists, which are designed to teach children practical skills.

“These classes were offered in Steven’s preschool in ” said Jeanne Delille about her 4-year old son. “He has now deregulated most of the preschool, convincing his teachers that nap time was inefficient and that the rules governing swing access during free time violated his civil liberties.”

“I am so proud!” she added.

Tanguay announced that more attractions for kids will soon be made available, such as prospecting in Jean Drapeau Park, damage control role play, and basic pipeline construction. He says that tickets to the museum, which come with an immediate excavation permit, are a hot commodity.

“After all, the environment is only getting worse, while oil sands can only improve” Tanguay added.

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