TALLAHASSEE, FL. ― In an interview this week, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis took aim at the tyrannical sellers of hygiene and personal care products who routinely attempt to convert people to lib…
Tag: Republicans
Democrats just as shocked as you that they didn’t fuck up this election
WASHINGTON D.C. – As Democrats look poised to expand their majority in the Senate and remain competitive in the House, numerous Democratic representatives and party elders have come forward…
Excited Democrats speculate that if Republicans strip 1 or 2 more fundamental rights away, they might win the midterms
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of the Supreme Court’s ruling overturning Roe v. Wade and Republican states taking immediate measures to ban abortion and force women to give birth, a bo…
Republicans relieved no fetuses killed in Texas school shooting
Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “Thank God,”…
With Jackson hearings underway, Republicans regret squandering their supply of evil
LOCATION REDACTED ― The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of American villainy, who was reportedly furious at his underlings…
In rare show of bipartisanship only 95% of Republicans vote in favour of man who tried to kill them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisanship nearly 5% of Republican Members of Congress voted to impeach the man who, exactly one week ago, sent a horde of white supremacists …
Republicans furious to see Obama running for third term
Washington D.C – Republicans have expressed outrage today at the news that a man whom they are positive is former President Barack Obama has entered the race for democratic nominee, vying f…
Republicans confirm stance that life begins at conception and ends when your health insurance expires
WASHINGTON – The Republican party sent out a press release earlier today confirming their long-held stance that the boundaries of human life begin at conception and end at the exact moment …
Mail bomber arrest ends exhaustive search for Trump 2020 Campaign Chairman
Plantation, FL — Following a string of mail bombs sent to Democrat leaders and CNN, authorities have arrested a man who was immediately offered a position as Trump 2020 campaign chairman. T…
Republicans praise thoroughness of blank piece of paper with “Kavanaugh FBI Investigation” written on it
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senators Flake, Collins, and the rest of the GOP are praising the FBI’s report on their investigation into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, which consists entirely o…