STOCKHOLM – Fans of the Swedish death metal band Malfunctioning Whirlpool were shocked to discover that the hit musical group is actually nothing more than recordings of an old dishwasher r…
Tag: Metal
Local man just wants to listen to the band Nekrofilth in peace
CLEVELAND, OH – Metalhead James Forrest, tired after a long and stressful day, said he just wants to come home and listen to songs like Junkie Cunt in order to relax, but is having difficul…
Satan rejects endorsements from shitty metal bands
Hell via Des Moines, Iowa – Earlier today, Satan, the Lord of Darkness, officially rejected endorsements from “shitty” metal bands, who constantly praise Him in their lyrics. Th…