Doug Ford has announced Ontarians will go to the polls this February. Even though he is only 2.5 years into his current regime, Ford says he needs “a strong mandate” from the people t…
Tag: Donald Trump
Doug Ford gets second hat to clarify that he is still for sale
QUEEN’S PARK – Soon after debuting his “Canada Is Not For Sale” hat, Ontario Premier Doug Ford was spotted wearing a second hat to clarify that he is still very much for sale. “I was thrill…
Canadian man tempted to support annexation just to watch Americans try to deal with Quebec
OTTAWA – Local man Matthew Kearns has admitted that, despite despising Trump and wanting Canada to remain independent, it would almost be worth becoming the 51st state just to watch America…
Canadians who support the U.S. annexing us explain why
According to a recent poll, about 13% of Canadians support Donald Trump’s recent suggestion that Canada become the 51st state. Naturally we wanted to ask them “what the fuck is wrong …
Puerto Ricans pissed Canada could become U.S. state before them
SAN JUAN, PR – In the wake of Donald Trump unveiling plans to make Canada the 51st U.S. state, Puerto Ricans who have been trying to attain proper electoral representation expressed their frustra…
Poilievre looking forward to blaming Trudeau for economic effects of Trump’s tariffs
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre couldn’t contain his glee today upon hearing the news that Donald Trump plans to enact a 25% tariff on Canadian goods as soon as he takes office. “Our largest trad…
Poilievre denies he’d be a Canadian Trump: “I’ll be more like a Canadian JD Vance”
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre continues to refute all Liberal Party attempts to tie him to President Donald Trump, insisting that if people pay close attention they’ll see he’s way …
5 ways Democrats can win the next election, all of which involve throwing Trans people under the bus for some reason
With Democrats reeling from the magnitude of Donald Trump’s victory, analysts and party insiders are coming out with plans for how the party can recover in time for the 2026 midterms and th…
“Democrats better get their shit together before the 2028 election,” says adorable friend who thinks there’s going to be a 2028 election
Kincardine, ON – Local man Allan Terry has expressed his belief that the Democrats need to improve their messaging and policy efforts if they want to win the next Presidential election, cha…
“I can’t believe anyone would vote for Trump,” says smug Canadian man planning to vote for Poilievre
OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifyin…
