OTTAWA – Responding to the Auditor General’s scathing report that revealed $3.1 billion unaccounted for in anti-terrorism funding, the Harper government defended itself claiming it was a generous…
National
Canada opts for pull-out method instead of environmental protection
OTTAWA – After withdrawing from a UN anti-drought convention late last month, the Harper government announced today that it will rely on the pull-out method as its default policy for future envir…
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out t…
UPDATE: Nation just wants spring to fucking happen
OTTAWA – Following a series of weeks with mixing of nice weather and cold weather, Canadians from all cities and provinces have gotten tired of this windy cold shit, and just want spring to…
BC finally accepts Saskatchewan’s Facebook friend request
REGINA – Citing a really busy spell with work as one of the reasons for the delay and “not seeing much point to it” since they’re “pretty much neighbours,” the provi…
Nation’s Liberals overwhelmingly elect ‘ehh… I guess’ as their new leader
TORONTO – The members of the Liberal party of Canada reluctantly accepted the inevitable on Sunday, choosing Justin Trudeau as their new leader by a 20,000 vote margin over his closest comp…
Shocked at daycare shooting, Canadians wonder which US state Gatineau is in
OTTAWA – Disturbed Canadians took to the internet to voice their thoughts about the breaking story involving gun violence at a daycare in Gatineau today, but were confused about where Gatineau wa…
Young conservative man unable to contain sexual attraction to Justin Trudeau
OTTAWA – Although he is violently opposed to Justin Trudeau’s political party’s leanings, Jeffrey Soloman, a 23-year-old Conservative Party supporter, is unable to contain his sexual attrac…
