The members of The United Conservative Party of Alberta has chosen Danielle Smith as its new leader and because we’re just barely a democracy, that means she also gets to be Premier of a ma…
Alberta
Alberta finally freed from woke agenda of left-wing ideologue Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Upon the news that Danielle Smith has won the UCP leadership race and will be the province’s new premier, Albertans heaved a collective sigh of relief that socialist madman Jason…
‘Alberta Is Calling’ ads lure Ontarians with chance to live in Province that is fucked up in a slightly different way
TORONTO – Alberta’s provincial government has launched a full court press to convince Ontarians sick and tired of dealing with all the Province’s problems to move to Alberta so …
Danielle Smith clarifies that it’s Alberta first, Saskatchewan second, New Brunswick last
EDMONTON – Running for leader of the UCP on a platform of ‘Alberta First’ Danielle Smith took time today to give reporters her clear ranking of the Canadian provinces. “Ma…
Gym teacher joins class game of dodgeball instead of going to therapy
RED DEER, AB – A class game of dodgeball at West Valley Elementary School was rocked this past Thursday when the gym teacher decided to vent his frustrations by joining in the game. Student…
Jason Kenney finally delivers best summer ever
EDMONTON – After promising Albertans the “best summer ever” in 2021, Premier Jason Kenney has finally delivered on his word by resigning. Kenney received 51.4% of the vote in a leadership review …
Jason Kenney imposes mandatory freedom on Alberta
RED DEER – Premier Jason Kenney has said he intends to pass legislation that will remove the ability of municipalities to enforce their own mask mandates, thereby forcing freedom onto millions of…
Peaceful guns, democratic machetes seized from Alberta convoy protest
COUTTS, AB – Sources report that the RCMP have arrested 11 people at the Coutts border blockade who planned to peacefully participate in the democratic process with firearms, body armour and volu…
Kenney demands blockading truckers he inspired to immediately relocate to Ottawa
COUTTS, AB – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is demanding blockading truckers at the Alberta-Montana border he galvanized to relocate to Ottawa. “This kind of behaviour is not acceptable unles…
Jason Kenney vows to protect Alberta’s vulnerable COVID industry
EDMONTON – Alberta premier Jason Kenney announced today that his administration will work tirelessly to make sure the province’s booming COVID business stays prosperous. “If we allow the Tr…