These everyday items found in your household could almost be a real holiday gift for friends and family! Mug – Photo by Alex Huntley Cookie Cutters- URL https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/F…
Liberals unveil new rock-paper-scissors protocols to determine immigrants’ futures
OTTAWA — At a press conference on Thursday the federal government announced that they would replace the outmoded first-come first-serve immigration application process with a global rock-p…
Conservative Candidate Profile: Kellie Leitch
Name: Kellie Leitch Background Leitch has taken a courageous stand against the Ottawa “elite”, who she coincidentally defines as anyone you also don’t like. She is often commended for pulling her…
TTC’s scented holiday candles let riders gift the smell of urine soaked grime
TORONTO – The Toronto Transit Commission is ringing in the holiday season with the release of the Bloor-Young scented candle that gives riders the opportunity to take home the urine soaked …
Trudeau celebrates one year in office with #TBT Instagram collage
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau enthusiastically marked one year in office with a tasteful and sentimental Instagram collage. “What better way to celebrate the Liberal party’s landsl…
Chateau Laurier expansion first national treasure to be revamped using Minecraft
OTTAWA – The historic Chateau Laurier Hotel is getting a much needed facelift with the help of Minecraft, a leader in architecture and design. The proposed revamp would see the 660,000 squa…
Local man vows to spend 30 minutes with date before catching a Squirtle
Unionville, ON — A local Pokemon Go player has vowed to spend at least thirty minutes with his Tinder date before logging into Pokemon Go to catch a Squirtle. RJ Henderson, age 29, remained…
Fans convinced Edward Scissorhands could never hurt his wife
LOS ANGELES – Fans of Edward Scissorhands were shocked to learn that the half-human, half-unknown possibly pseudo-robotic being was alleged to have beaten his wife. “I cannot believe there …
Woman purchases mason jars, old records at garage sale to sell at next garage sale
OTTAWA – Local woman, Willow Andrews, was thrilled with her recent garage sale finds of rustic mason jars and old vinyl records, which will be featured in her own garage sale next year once…
Patio season convinces Ottawa woman she doesn’t live in desolate arctic hellscape 90% of year
OTTAWA – As local residents welcome patio season, Sana Khan, a thirty-two year old public servant, appears to be struck with a severe case of amnesia, tragically unable to recall that she …