OTTAWA – In the wake of the Liberal government appointing the first Minister for Middle Class Prosperity, the lesser known Minister of the Lower Class will be required to commute to cabinet meetings via bus on an expensive pass he can ill afford.
Chris Bittle, MP for St. Catharines, was sworn in yesterday in a cheap ceremony at a discount version of Rideau Hall. Bittle will not be allowed to afford a car or receive any other middle class benefits.
His pay will be reduced to $30,000 instead of the $178,000 salary plus additional cabinet pay his colleagues receive, as well as having his health and dental insurance removed.
Within the Lower Class Minister’s mandate letter includes performing back-breaking labour and unappreciated tasks for the other ministers while facing a constant threat of being replaced by technology or his position being outsourced to a foreign country.
Bittle will have to take on a second job to make ends meet such as bartending or chimney sweeping.
Finally, the Lower Class Minister will be required to polish the shoes of the Upper Class Minister and call him “gov’na.”