OTTAWA – The federal NDP’s $3.1 million debt in assets is forcing the party to give up on its traditional orange colour for a much cheaper option.
“It’s black and white until we’re back into the black,” said NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh handing out grey-black pamphlets still hot from the photocopier. “We’re going to have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and not purchase that pricey colour ink cartridge so we’re ready for 2019.
Plus, colour copies at Staples are like four times more expensive…what a rip-off.”
Party insiders hope that the drab-looking material will not distract from the important policy messages and discussions the country should be having such as bringing back the per-vote subsidy.
Other cost-cutting measures include cutting off air conditioning at party offices, rationing toilet paper, and reusing old election signs that advertise ‘Re-elect Alexa McDonough.’
The NDP explained that their precarious circumstances of living with high debt makes them the only party to truly empathize low-income Canadians.
“We understand what working Canadians are going through,” said Party President Mathieu Vick. “While the Conservatives and Liberals have deep pockets from the super-rich, the NDP lives from donation cheque to donation cheque. So remember, please give generously to the less fortunate political parties.”
If elected as Prime Minister, Singh vowed to better regulate the short-term loan he was granted to pay his staff.