PCs hire man with air horn to censor Doug Ford every time he goes off script - The Beaverton
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PCs hire man with air horn to censor Doug Ford every time he goes off script

BELLEVILLE, ON – The Progressive Party has put in place another measure to ensure stays on message by censoring anything off-script with an air horn.

“Ontarians are going to get to know him at every campaign stop and with every 129 decibel blast,” explained one campaign advisor. “Not only does it help ensure message discipline, but nothing quite as much sums up Doug Ford the man so much as this.”

The PC strategy appeared to pay off at a recent rally in Welland where journalists and supporters were progressively deafened by the air horn with Ford’s answers.

“Ontario’s new sexual education curriculum is…*AIR HORN*…and that’s why…*AIR HORN*…protect ,” explained Ford. “And we’re going to balance the budget by…*AIR HORN*…cutting…*AIR HORN*…and jobs.”

During an interview with media, the air horn ran out of compressed air forcing the staffer responsible for censoring Ford to violently cough each time his answer went off course.

“Doug Ford is going to stick to his message of not being Kathleen Wynne,” added the campaign advisor, “rather than being Doug Ford.”