WATERLOO – After struggling to keep sales up, Blackberry has decided it will cease making its keyboard phone so it can shift focus to manufacturing palm pilots.
“Based on our 2015 research, we’re pretty sure that touch screens are going to be the next big thing,” said John Chen, CEO of Blackberry. “And as the market has already proven, people love using those touch screen pens.”
But Blackberry, who recorded a 31.8% drop in 2nd-quarter revenue, has no plans to rely just on their next generation personal digital assistant. They also plan to shift into producing CD players, pagers, and “a flying machine” which is still in development.
“Not only can our palm pilot send emails, it can also remind you when a meeting is happening,” said Chen. “Let’s see a pad of paper do that!”
Blackberry is confident they’ll be able to retake the lead in the digital market by making its new PalmPilot compatible with Windows 98 before any of their competition.
“We have a history of being ahead of the curve. When my great-great-grandfather saw the Ford Model T he knew that horse drawn carriages were going,” said Chen. “We’re still waiting to see if he was right.”
At press time, Blackberry was beginning work on a secret project, known only as “Commodore 64”.
