CANBERRA — After 78 years of companionship, local tortoise Sally Lansdowne is debating whether to euthanize her ailing pet human, Phil.
The Caucasian-breed homo sapien was adopted by Lansdowne when he was only a decade old and have been inseparable since.
“I first adopted him in 1927 just after my hatchlings left their eggs and departed for the sea,” explained the 144-year-old Aldabran tortoise. “I thought I needed a companion who I could take on long, very slow walks together. I know he wouldn’t last very long, but this is happening all too quickly for me.”
Lansdowne explained that humans cost quite a bit with expensive especially when they go to school, have kids and get a mortgage, but they are worth the friendship.
“You really have to take good care of a human, or else they might get lost or wipe out another species.”
As the years progressed, the human has acquired arthritis, diabetes and early stages of dementia. Phil no longer takes regular drives to work and spends most of his days watching Turner Classic Movies.
“I’ve been consulting with my human’s physician and he’s only got another five or ten years max. I don’t know how much longer I can afford to pay for his medicine. The senior’s discount just isn’t enough.”
Lansdowne finally knew it was time to say goodbye when the human was unable to find his set of house keys for the second time today.
