TORONTO – In an unprecedented use of the crowdfunding site Indiegogo the city of Toronto has come together to obtain the video evidence necessary to undo the humiliation caused by the democratic election of Mayor Rob Ford, by handing over thousands of dollars to an individual known to deal crack cocaine.
“It’s high time citizens did something to remove Ford. He has such a negative impact on our great city,” said Beaches resident Jennifer Potter immediately before giving 200 dollars to a campaign whose express intention is to give it, and 199,800.00 other dollars, to a crack dealer with absolutely no restrictions on what he may do with it.
“Its about the kind of image we want to project out to the world,” Potter added.
As of Wednesday morning the campaign had raised nearly $110,000.00, or approximately 10 kilograms of cocaine when bought at wholesale prices. However, studies have indicated that the drug, once diluted into crack and sold on the street to drug addicts and mentally troubled youths, retails for a much higher amount.
Local man James Granger was similarly supportive of the campaign.
“Its nice to see people using these sites for something important instead of just giving money to movie stars like Zach Braff,” he said while scrolling past a project to bring fresh water to Haiti, which has currently received a total of $78.48 in donations.
At press time, crack dealers are still bad people.
