FAIRFAX, VA – The National Rifle Association announced today that it will make bold leaps with its marketing efforts in order to branch out and appeal to more casual psychopaths.
“While the NRA has done an excellent job supplying guns to the batshit insane and fringe lunatic demographic, the casual psychopath market remains untapped,” said an NRA marketing rep. “We are now expanding our marketing efforts to include more on-the-fence-psychotics, and those who only flirt with delusional paranoia.”
The strategy is expected to increase membership sales, as well as having the side-effect of boosting the NRA’s image in light of recent controversies, according to NRA Vice President Wayne Lapierre.
“If we start dealing with more people who suffer only from minor, under-control psychopathic disorders then maybe we won’t get blamed every time a schizophrenic or a major depressive shoots up a mall or something because they will be seen as unusual cases,” Lapierre said.
“Also, it’s important for us to continue our strategy of arming every citizen indiscriminately, even your recreational and part-time wackjobs, if we truly want to maintain a safe society,” he added.
The move has been criticized by current NRA extremists who are “completely furious” with the decision. Long time card holder Frank D’antoni had this to say: “I don’t want to be associated with group members who think firebombing an IRS building isn’t a part of our inalienable rights as American Citizens”
