OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election …
Tag: Edmonton Oilers
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year. “I don’…
Franchise with amazing fans, likeable superstars determined to become league villains
EDMONTON – The Edmonton Oilers announced the hiring of Stan Bowman, the Blackhawks executive who helped cover up the sexual abuse of Kyle Beach by assistant coach Brad Aldrich, as part of t…
Oilers fans not sure what’s worse: losing Cup or realizing Leafs fans were right about how good Atlantic Division is
EDMONTON – Down 3-0 to the Florida Panthers, Edmonton Oilers fans report they don’t know what is making them feel worse: the possibility of being swept out of the Stanley Cup Finals, …
Oilers plan to damage Florida Panthers’ morale by forcing them to visit Edmonton
EDMONTON – With the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals fast approaching, sources close to the Edmonton Oilers have confirmed that the team has a new strategy for victory – namely, hoping the Flo…
NHL schedules Stanley Cup Final Game One for August long weekend
Sunrise, FL – The Edmonton Oilers and Florida Panthers are set to face off in the 2024 Stanley Cup Final, which will begin just over two months after the conclusion of the Conference Finals. Some…
Dallas’ low camera angle allows viewers chance to imagine what may be happening along nearside boards
DALLAS – Viewers watching the Edmonton Oilers defeat the Dallas Stars in double overtime were treated to a special vantage point last night: a low camera angle that makes it impossible to s…
Kris Knoblauch flips big switch in office from ‘split up McDavid and Draisaitl’ to ‘play McDavid and Draisaitl together’
EDMONTON – With the Oilers facing elimination in their series with the Vancouver Canucks, Oilers head coach Kris Knoblauch has taken the bold choice to flip the big red switch in his office…
Auston Matthews vows to work on his “pass to a guy who passes to a guy who scores” skills so he can finally deserve MVP
LAS VEGAS – Fresh off scoring 51 goals in 54 games Leafs centre Auston Matthews has announced that he has heard the criticism and will immediately devote his time and effort to developing h…
Fuck it, let’s do some Connor McDavid trade proposals to see how mad they make Oilers fans
The Edmonton Oilers suck. And not just how they’ve usually sucked for most of our lives. This was a team considered to be a Stanley Cup favourite by every NHL analyst who forgot that goalte…
