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National
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Toronto
Montreal
Vancouver
North
Campus
University Reviews
Canada Votes 2015
Worst job in every province
Media promise to start covering Pierre Poilievre’s transphobic comments as soon as they finish 50th story on how Liberals are unpopular
Liberals explain why they’re so far behind in the polls
Most popular Halloween Costumes in each Province
Nation’s cyclists mortified after learning that stop signs and red lights apply to them too
Fuck! Group of teens just noticed you
White kid’s name spelled normally
“Where am I? What year is it?” asks man who just woke up from 30 minute nap
Just to be cautious, Ontario announces Eglinton LRT will be open by the year 2236
Man who hates Toronto worried Olivia Chow will ruin it
Mayor-elect Olivia Chow currently riding bike to go do donuts on Doug Ford’s lawn
Quiz: Who should you vote for in Toronto’s Mayoral Race
Montreal rioters concerned COVID rules are destroying small businesses before they can destroy small businesses
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Montreal halts road construction until everyone can enjoy it again
Half of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago
Report: Killer Whales actively preparing to bring down a plane
Vancouver considers buying a second snowplow
Vancouver actor moves to L.A. to improve odds of getting cast in shows that shoot in Vancouver
Vancouver removes tents from Eastside unless they can prove they’re a weed shop
Tied Yukon election to be decided by traditional chainsaw throw
Yukon exposed to 2 cases of assholes
Yukon refuses to change clocks back in smug defiance of the will of Demeter
Rest of Canada happy to exchange NWT election results for federal one
York Professor asks for a note from a dictator before agreeing to defer student’s exam
Queen’s students argue their campus outbreak will be way better than Western’s
Gaming the system: Recent 92-year-old university grad gets to die before she pays off her debt
Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation
Western University mandate 3 vaccine shots, 15 Jaegermeister shots
Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews
OCAD University: University Reviews 2014
NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
World
World
U.S.
Historical Archives
How to protest mass slaughter without inconveniencing anyone
Everything Israel is doing to minimize civilian casualties in Gaza
Canada calls for 5 minute water break in Israel bombing campaign
Free speech champions explain why it’s OK that people are being cancelled for criticizing Israel
Las Vegas residents concerned as The Sphere begins to open
Biden suggests Hamas and Israeli government hash things out over a plate of ribs
Repeat offender granted bail
Fired employee indicted for stealing from workplace
Living History: Grandma exchanged letters with John Diefenbaker where he talks about his “Dief Beef”
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Village virgin sick of donating blood to every ritual sacrifice
July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation
Sports
Sports
Email from grandpa just a list of 29 baseball players
5 Canadians in the NFL who might get to touch the football this year if they’re really good boys
Fuck it, let’s do some Connor McDavid trade proposals to see how mad they make Oilers fans
“The wisest people are those that admit when they are wrong,” says man ready to acknowledge that William Nylander is good
Business
Business
In event of cabin pressure change, air Canada instructs passengers to secure own mask before 360 roundhouse kicking the person next to them
Meeting on grocery prices stalls as CEOs send Trudeau to self-serve negotiator
To combat self-checkout theft, stores experimenting with new human cashier pilot program
Read our letter threatening to sue Mark Zuckerberg
Culture
Culture
Lifestyle
Health
Opinion
Parenting
Stats
Classifieds
Allure of handsome American traveller evaporates when he refers to toque as “beanie”
SAG Strike ends, forcing actors to abandon nearly-complete Middle East peace plan
Disney defends use of AI, “We can’t freeze everyone’s head”
CRTC to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podcast is
Luxury porta-potty includes chemical bidet
Hero driver taps lightly on brakes before plowing into cyclist
Man saves years of accumulated time by referring to 7-Eleven as “Sev”
Man whose dick you have to suck to get a drink around here finally identified: Marty Williams of Scarborough
Expensive therapist makes higher quality “mmmm” sounds
In event of cabin pressure change, air Canada instructs passengers to secure own mask before 360 roundhouse kicking the person next to them
Liberals support gender affirming surgery provided trans people can find a doctor
Opinion: Why do we need a cure for diabetes when I don’t have it?
You fucking Leafs fans still think I’m the worst Defenceman you’ve ever seen?
Is Buffy Ste Marie actually Indigenous? Six extremely white people weigh in
EDITORIAL: Why I’m not letting my kids use social media except the YouTube channel they star in that pays our mortgage
Editorial: I protested at Trudeau’s Belleville visit and personally saw him eat six babies
Toddler guzzling bathwater like Nero at Bacchanal in waning days of Roman Empire
5 tips for betting on NHL preseason games while your whiny children beg you for attention
EDITORIAL: Why I’m not letting my kids use social media except the YouTube channel they star in that pays our mortgage
World’s climate scientists recommend having only as many children as you plan to eat
93% of Canadians will never pay off their blood debts
86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages
2014 Canadian Federal Budget Preview
Most frequent lies found on online dating profiles
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
LOTS OF JARS FULL OF APRICOT PITS.
ESSAY WRITERS NEEDED ASAP. BIG MONEY $$$$$.
UNIVERSITY student seeking mannequin to come alive and be my girlfriend.
BeavFeed
Beavfeed
Choice Your Own Adventure
Quiz
Slideshow
Guide To/How To
Free speech champions explain why it’s OK that people are being cancelled for criticizing Israel
Devastating: Woman forgets “R” in email to Pedro
Most popular TV show in each Province
Justin Trudeau and 10 other Marxists you should know
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
You just lit off a bunch of fireworks before realizing you were in the Art Gallery of Ontario. Can you save the priceless pieces of art?
You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?
You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?
Quiz: Should you watch Barbie, Oppenheimer or 2008 Canadian WWI drama Passchendaele
Quiz: Who should you vote for in Toronto’s Mayoral Race
Quiz: Who should you vote for in the Alberta Provincial Election
QUIZ: Is it a pyramid scheme or just a regular cult?
Free speech champions explain why it’s OK that people are being cancelled for criticizing Israel
Conservatives explain why Pierre Poilievre attacking ‘globalist elites’ isn’t antisemitic
Liberals explain why they can’t do anything about the housing crisis
Canadians react to Pierre Poilievre’s “sexy” makeover
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
Guide To: Edmonton
Guide To: St.John’s
How To Lose Weight
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Baltimore Ravens
Ravens / 49ers Super Bowl win / loss confirms / disproves existence of God for Lewis / Kaepernick
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San Francisco and Baltimore both choose Omar Little as Super Bowl mascot for different reasons
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