TORONTO – The regional board of Goodwill Industries has taken to social media to ask residents of the GTA to please stop leaving Maple Leafs jerseys in their used clothing bins and donation…
Toronto
Ontario Science Centre to be renamed The Galen Weston Centre for Condos and Corporate Greed
TORONTO – The Ford government has announced plans this week to change the name of the Ontario Science Centre to the Galen Weston Centre for Condos and Corporate Greed. The decision comes fo…
Doug Ford promises new Science Centre will be more accessible to dumb people
TORONTO – Ontario premier Doug Ford unveiled his plans for a new version of the Ontario Science Centre, which he claims fixes a critical flaw in the attraction; that it requires too much in…
Owners of gold stolen from Pearson expected it to be lost by baggage services anyways
TORONTO – A statement from a representative of the owners of the $20 million dollars worth of valuables stolen from Toronto Pearson claims that the victims were expecting the goods to be mi…
Local Torontonian wins race to subway seat
TORONTO, ON — Torontonian Mark Law has won a highly competitive local race, finishing his commute as the winner of the coveted “Seated Train Ride Home”. On Line 1 at Bloor-Yonge Station, Law beat…
Following thundersnow storm Toronto calls in army just in case
TORONTO – In the wake of Friday night’s uniquely meteorological event which saw both heavy snow as well as thunder and lightning, the city of Toronto has elected to once again call in the m…
John Tory’s career inevitably cut short by his raw, unstoppable sexual magnetism
TORONTO – In the wake of Toronto Mayor John Tory’s shocking announcement that he will be stepping down after admitting he had an affair with a staffer earlier this year, residents across th…
White Guy insists on finding Chinese restaurant with “authentic” General Tso’s Chicken
TORONTO – Jeff Fisher, a local white guy, has demanded that, for his weekly dinner out with his core group of friends, they try to find a place with truly authentic General Tso’s Chicken on the m…
TTC increases security on streetcars to ensure stabbers paid fare
TORONTO – After a recent rash of stabbings on public transit, TTC officials and Mayor John Tory announced today there would be an increased security presence on all vehicles to prevent any …
John Tory proposes increasing Toronto Police budget to keep Torontonians safe from effective social programs
TORONTO — At a news conference today, Mayor John Tory proposed increasing the Toronto Police Service’s budget by 48.3 million dollars in order to ensure that the people of his city would be…
