Banff, AB – After popping open a bottle of red wine and updating to the newest version of Photoshop, newlyweds Karen and Derek Miles spent a romantic evening carefully removing any trace of abject poverty from their Caribbean honeymoon photos.
“Remember this cute little bar in Puerto Plata?” said Karen, copying and pasting a shrub over the homeless man sleeping next to the entrance. “They had the best pina coladas I’ve ever tasted!”
The couple, who spent five times the average annual Jamaican salary on their island getaway, say that this editing is necessary if they are going to misremember their honeymoon as perfect.
“I just wish the socioeconomic conditions were better,” said Derek, using the freehand-select tool to delete a skeletal dog. “The world is bad enough without me spending two hours transforming an impoverished child into a churro stand.”
“We definitely should have sprung for the all-inclusive resort.”
At press time, Karen was adding some tasteful indigence to Facebook photos of their gentrified neighbourhood.
