DEER CREVICE, ON – Despite weeks of working out and drinking protein shakes, local man Jared Allman’s attempts to take an attractive photograph of himself in the mirror are consistently ruined by the appearance of a smiling malevolent figure at his shoulder.
“Think my phones broken haha,” Allman replied on Facebook, after a series of comments under the photograph all read ‘WTF!?!?’. “Dude keeps showing up in my pics lol.”
“Any tech friends no what might b wrong? Got a 6S.”
The figure, which does not appear or is not visible in either real life or the mirror, is nevertheless present in every selfie, and stands slightly closer to Allman every time.
“Um, no thanks,” said local woman Olivia May, swiping left on Allman’s Tinder profile, in which the shadow man appeared to be stroking his neck with tenebrous claws. “I hate when there’s two people in the picture. Which one is he?”
“Either way, shirtless mirror selfies and uncanny terrors are both kinda basic for me.”
At press time, Allman’s mysterious disappearance had been resolved, after he reappeared, eyeless, in the background of a friend’s mirror selfie.
