TORONTO – A recent news story about recalled Beatrice chocolate milk being contaminated with sanitizers has local man Alex Hallman really craving chocolate milk.
“Something something chemical sanitizers, agony, blah blah,” said Hallman to himself while he read the news story. “Oh man, I could really go for some chocolate milk right now.”
Sources close to Hallman say the possibility of brutal poisoning has taken a back seat in his mind to the prospect of an ice-cold glass of rich, refreshing, and delicious chocolate milk.
“Oh baby, I haven’t had chocolate milk in forever,” said Hallman, comparing barcode numbers from the contaminated batches with the ones in his local supermarket. “And to think, if it wasn’t for this tainted chocolate milk scare, I never would have remembered how much I love the invigorating taste of chocolate milk.”
“It’s great after a workout!” Added Hallman, through a mouthful chocolate milk.
At press time, Hallman was dead.
