Tories blast Liberal budget for not having imaginary surplus - The Beaverton

Tories blast Liberal budget for not having imaginary surplus

OTTAWA — Interim Conservative Leader is blasting the governing Liberals for a reckless budget that proposes no theoretical federal surplus.

“Running an acknowledged deficit once again proves the government is unable to manage Canada’s finances,” said a defiant Ambrose in the House of Commons during Question Period. “Under the careful stewardship of  the Harper government, we posted a fanciful $2.4 billion surplus that at least 31% of the country believed to be true. Now, we’re $18 billion in deficit.”

“Mr. Speaker, where did all our fake money go?”

Conservative MPs ridiculed the government for lowering oil revenue projections below $70 a barrel, something the previous government had steadfastly refused to acknowledge.

“Oil has always been at at least $150 a barrel for, like, ever. Why doesn’t this government just multiply the current price by five to eliminate the deficit?” added Ambrose in a follow-up question.

Other Tory MPs condemned the Liberals for not discovering new sources of revenue such as printing more money or looking for Explorer John Franklin’s lost gold treasure. Some have already accused the government of spending all of the imaginary money.

“The illusionary surplus was all recklessly blown on Liberal gold-plated staples, jewel encrusted monocles and a statue of strangling a protester,”  thundered Tony Clement.

Prime Minister responded by stating that he is committed to spend real money as if it were fake.