MONTREAL – A new study from McGill shows that Canada’s economy may be bouncing back, finding that nearly one-third of Millennials are already illegally living in million, or multimillion, dollar houses abandoned during the recession.
“It was a long hard road,” said Gregory Moss, a 26-year old being paid in ‘experience’. “But I finally made it.”
This study is welcome news for many young workers who feel that things such as housing and food are out of their price range. Dr. Travis Lorry, the head of the study and tenured professor of economics at McGill, says that his results indicate that poorer Millennials simply aren’t working hard enough to steal higher-end housing.
“A young professional shouldn’t let a little thing like ‘being forced to work for free’ get in the way of living inside a beautiful house,” explained Dr. Lorry. “The marketplace will reward tenacity and hard work, if not with money, than with hobo bindles, some very comfortable old newspapers, and great recipes for nail soup.”
Many Millennials have noticed the upswing in the economy and are beginning to make plans for the future.
“I got my first non-can of beans paycheck today,” said Lindsey Nguyen, 27. “It’s not much, but it’s definitely enough for me to think about not starting a family or owning a car in the next five years.”
Adding to the good news, the Ontario Ministry of Labour reports that most Millennials have access to heat in the form of trashcan fires, and that 15% have already taken in foundlings in order to extend their pickpocket empires.
