KINGSTON – After Queen’s University students failed to pick up tens of red plastic cups from their Homecoming festivities this weekend, Kingston mayor Mark Gerretsen’s was left utterly thunderstruck.
“It’s like he went into shock,” said John Ellerby, Gerretsen’s neighbour. “He was just walking the streets moaning ‘the horror, the horror’.”
Gerretsen described the evening, which saw the police arrest 16 people and ticket a further 133, as “the biggest attack on Kingston since the War of 1812.”
“This is the worst aftermath I’ve seen since Sharknado,” Gerretsen declared as he examined the predominantly-clean streets of his city. “Now I know how the mayor of New Orleans felt after Katrina.”
