A misbehaving child during a flight can make your flight very stressful for all passengers. Here’s some parental tips to make jet-setting with your young ones much easier.
1. Give your child up for adoption shortly before boarding the flight
2. Before your flight, make sure you heavily sedate yourself with Gravol® so you can sleep straight through any childish disruption
3. Store your child in the overhead bin or, for husky children, below your seat
4. Ignore your child and pretend they belong to the passenger asleep next to you
5. Ask a flight attendant to breast feed your child
6. Yell and cry louder than your child to show them who’s boss
7. If your child acts up during turbulence, remind your child that if the plane goes down, we’re all going to die anyway
8. Tire them out by forcing them to run 20 laps around the aisles
9. Skip the trip. Tell Grandma Skype is better than an in-person deathbed visit
