Harper authorizes use of CF-18s for Question Period - The Beaverton

Harper authorizes use of CF-18s for Question Period

OTTAWA – In response to increasing instability, Prime Minister authorized the deployment of Canada’s fleet of CF-18s to the combat aggressive insurgent forces present in Question Period.

“Uncomfortable questions about government accountability, the revelation of cronyism and hurtful heckling from the Opposition poses a direct threat to the security of the federal government,” Harper announced outside of the House of Commons. “Canada needs to respond to these gross violations of parliamentary procedure.”

“Swiftly, and permanently.”

Harper said that the objective of this mission is to degrade the capabilities of Opposition Extremists who recently launched aggressive queries and investigations into government activities.

“It is a noble cause,” Harper added before ordering the press gallery out of Parliament for their own safety. “Without the threat of violence, these people will stop at nothing to ask their ‘questions’, criticize, and generally undermine the perfect government Canada currently has.”

At press time, Conservative fighter pilots had locked onto Mulcair’s beard.