VANCOUVER – Undercover RCMP officer, Michael Reynolds, has neglected to dismount prior to his infiltration of a dangerous drug ring in British Columbia.
“This is one of the highest traffic drug areas in the whole city but I’ve been standing on this corner all day and haven’t seen a single dealer,” said Reynolds, while feeding his horse, Muriel, a carrot. “I must’ve had some bad intel.”
The RCMP investigation was sparked by several crack-related shootings over the past few months. Reynolds and his horse have spent the last few weeks trying to infiltrate drug rings by setting up deals with department funds. So far, there have been no takers.
“I learned all the lingo and I’m wearing the right clothes but whenever I go up to a suspect they just brush me off,” said the frustrated officer. “It’s like they somehow know – whoa, easy girl – somehow know I’m a Mountie.”
“Oh God, maybe there’s a mole in the department!”
At press time, Reynolds was drawing wheels on Muriel to better disguise her as a Cadillac Escalade.
