VANCOUVER - Following months of speculation, Vancouver Police Chief Jim Chu held a press conference today where he confirmed the existence of a cell phone video taken months ago, on which Vancouver Mayor, Gregor Robertson, appears to be smoking Pacific salmon.
“Through a thorough investigation, we have been able to recover two videos which are consistent with previous reports in the media… I think it’s fair to say that Mr. Robertson is in the video, the contents of which... I can only say that it appears he is smoking some kind of animal product, possibly fish,” said Chu.
The mayor held a very brief press conference outside of his office, where he stated that the police should “release the tape and let the people decide for themselves. Maybe they’ll realize I was only smoking halibut, or possibly a light sea bass.”
The revelation has caused a stir within the city public. Chu said that no criminal charges will be made at this time, but did add that he was, “disappointed.”
“I thought he was more of a grilled salmon guy.”