Passion Fruit: Pen-Plexed

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Dear Krysten,

There’s this guy at work who keeps asking to borrow my pens, and I think he might like-like me… but I’m too nervous to ask if he has a crush on me! Still, I want to make a move before someone else swoops in and steals the opportunity. There aren’t very many cute guys at my workplace. How do I know for sure, for sure if he likes me?



Are you fourteen years old? Because that’s how old you sound. Instead of wasting precious time whining to me about your lack of self-confidence, just swallow your insecurities, march up to the guy you’re swooning over, and say, “I am in love with you”.

But then again, why bother? All relationships only end in break-up, divorce, or death. David (my ex-boyfriend) broke up with me eleven times, and who’s to say the same thing won’t happen to you? Each time, your heart will break a little more and a little more until one night you’re sitting on the kitchen floor in a pile of crushed wedding plans, clutching that baby book you got custom embroidered (Krysten & David’s Little Angel: Kryvid) back in September when David was still in love with you. With me, I mean. David was never in love with you.

You guys… David has a new girlfriend. Her name’s Miranda, and she doesn’t have Facebook, so I can’t even tell if she’s prettier than me, or make fun of her favourite movies.

Luckily, I’m still friends with David’s little sister Lucy, and she owes me some spying after I took care of her schoolyard bully. She’ll be able to keep me updated, and I’m going to take a couple weeks off of work so that I can focus solely on ruining their relationship.

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