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Passion Fruit: Anticipating Abuse

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Dear Krysten,

My best friend is dating this guy who really isn’t good for her. He’s manipulative, never listens to what she says, and constantly puts her down. How do I talk to her about how unhealthy the relationship is without sounding overbearing or like a know it all? I just want what’s best for my friend.

Sincerely,
Anticipating Abuse

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If there’s one thing I know about, it’s unhealthy relationships. Take Miranda and David, for instance.

I followed them to a drive-in movie last night. Miranda didn’t talk through the whole film like I used to, didn’t ask any questions like “who’s that and why did they just say that to what’s-his-face?” and didn’t even offer to scream during all the scary parts so that David wouldn’t be able to hear and wouldn’t have night terrors. What kind of girlfriend is she? I don’t know.

Then, when she had to go to the bathroom, he actually walked her over and waited for her outside of the door. After the movie, they went for a little walk around the drive-in, holding hands. When they got back into the car, he opened the door for her. He even drove her home, and walked her to her doorstep, and made sure she got in okay.

Do you guys see a pattern here? David is being totally condescending, treating her like a helpless little kid, and that’s just not healthy.

Besides, someone could have stolen David’s car while he was at the bathrooms with her. He should have told her to just pee in the closest bush, like he used to say to me during our roadtrips to Sudbury.

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