Published in Sports - News in Brief

Toronto Raptors promised no more Drake if they win next 5 games

Friday, 24 January 2014 17:52 Written by 
Toronto Raptors promised no more Drake if they win next 5 games Photo from: Wikimedia Commons by thecomeupshow cc-by-2.0

TORONTO - The Toronto Raptors’ recent success has led head coach Dwayne Casey to promise the team that Drake will step down as the team's "global ambassador" if the Raptors win their next 5 games. 

"It's just been weird,” said point guard Kyle Lowry. "He'll show up in the locker room after the game wanting us to come hang out with him and his "crew", and it'll be like 7 white guys from Forest Hill who still live with their parents and want to go out for all-you-can-eat sushi or something. We're just not into it."

Casey is hoping the removal of Drake will help the team as many of the players have explained that playing to the song "Fancy" every night has bordered on a traumatic experience.

“Even when I try to sleep at night, I’m tormented by the lyrics “Nails done, hair done, everything did” a visibly sleep deprived Lowry sighed. 

Last modified on Wednesday, 16 July 2014 17:00

Do you enjoy our reporting? Help us grow our coverage and reach by purchasing a voluntary subscription to our content. You will be supporting a Canadian brand that promotes social and economic justice.

Subscription / Tip options