Published in National

Harper confident scandal will soon be resolved now that Duffy’s health benefits cut

Wednesday, 23 October 2013 19:14 Written by  Staff

OTTAWA - Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated that the ongoing Senate scandal will soon disappear now that Senator Mike Duffy’s health benefits have been removed.

“Call it a hunch” Harper said outside the House of Commons to the media before quietly chuckling to himself. “There is an old prison adage I am aware of: ‘snitches get stitches’. Well, in the Harper government, snitches do not get stitches, and nor do they get life-saving heart condition medication.”

Now that Duffy has lost his benefits covered by the Senate’s health plan, Harper estimates that the problem will resolve itself in 48-72 hours restoring the federal government’s credibility.

“I hope the Senator from PEI realizes that there’s only one way out of the Senate since he’s appointed for life” Harper added before putting on dark sunglasses, lighting a cigarette and telling the media to beat it while he’s still in a good mood.

Last modified on Wednesday, 23 October 2013 19:40