For months now, various pockets of First Nation members have formed together in solid masses, collectively forming a blockage to the planned shale gas exploration. However, the Mounties were able to break up the blockage with the newly developed technique of injecting pepper spray into the Aboriginals’ faces at a high pressure.
Critics of these fracking procedures have noted the harmful side effects associated with the practice, including irritated eyes, broken limbs, and mass arrests. The long-term effects these side effects may have on a community remain unclear.
The harmful offshoots are not confined solely to the protesters. “This kind of fracking can be dangerous work,” admitted Sergeant James Welker, 42. “Fracking is unpredictable, and often times there’ll be blowback when you use these techniques.” Welker described threats of violence, torched RCMP cruisers, and even molotov cocktails thrown at RCMP officers. “But in the end, as long as SWN Resources gets to explore shale gases on that land they may or may not own, it’ll all be worth it.”
When reached for comment regarding the side effects of fracking procedures, Trina Fellows, a spokesperson for SWN Resources, emphasized the care her company employed before commencing actual hydraulic fracturing in the region. “Revolutionary new RCMP fracking procedures, such as water canons and beanbag rounds, are the most expedient way to displace protesters and extricate their collective will.”
Fellows added, “I would think that the Mi’kmaq peoples who probably own that land would be happy for us. They also won’t have to worry about groundwater contamination, as I assume their reserve doesn’t even have running water.”
When asked about his stance on fracking, Prime Minister Stephen Harper confirmed his government’s support: “As long as I am Prime Minister, I will definitely continue to frack First Nations peoples.”